Never Stand Still
by Zarius
Summary: Everything has it's time, everything dies, but perhaps what was true for everyone else can be just as true for a time lord too...sometimes we die too soon.


**DOCTOR WHO:**

**NEVER STAND STILL**

**WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

**(A rewrite of key scenes in "Death of the Doctor")**

* * *

In the wastelands of the Crimson Heart, Sarah Jane Smith watched on as The Doctor cobbled together a contraption, a device with which he could send him, her, and one other home.

It had been so long since she had travelled to another star system with him. In all of her independent adventures she had crossed across alternative histories and other dimensions, but there was always so different, distinct and magical about her travels with The Doctor.

She thought of those she had left behind, Rani and Clyde, cornered by the alien Shansheeth in the U.N.I.T fortress housed in Mount Snowden, trapped with them was also the son of the woman who accompanied her and The Doctor on their hopefully short lived exile on this mysterious world, the intrepid explorer and activist Jo Jones, formerly Jo Grant, who had assisted The Doctor before she had, and someone whom she could sense the intrepid Time Lord had some close attachment to.

She looked at the time lord as he stood now, boundless, youthful, and alive. She hadn't seen him like this in a while. The last time she set eyes on him, he looked so tired, still young, but there was no spark to his eyes, no soul in his voice. There was a sense of resignation, acceptance of an end, and profound regret he could not retain the same face or personality.

What she had on her hands now was a lottery, the latest incarnation, the ever changing face of The Doctor, and with it a new set of rules to follow. As someone he considered more than just the best of companions, he relied on her to understand the change, to make the transition easier for others he knew that had not been so experienced with the miracle of his people.

Sarah was in that situation now, as Jo approached her, her curiosity compelling her to ask the questions that, for Sarah, were fairly standard.

"How can his people just change like that?" she asked.

"It's always been my dream to find out; I've seen it happen not just with The Doctor, but with others of his race. In fact, my first time witnessing the change occurred with a mentor of his down in a monastery"

"Your first time was with another man?" Jo asked whimsically. Both women burst out laughing, their mirth breaking the Doctor's concentration; he urged them to keep the chatter down.

"I wish I'd gotten to know his people better. Most of the time they were giving The Doctor and I no end of trouble, and all I saw of them were the most ugly and twisted of people like The Master"

"I've only ever been to his planet. Just once" Sarah replied, recalling the days spent in the Death Zone on Gallifrey.

"It's remarkable that we spent so much time with him, and yet we barely scratched the surface of just who he truly is" Jo replied.

"There and there" The Doctor said in triumph as he made another breakthrough with the device.

Sarah was delighted to find that familiar fire in his features again, the kind that had lit up her world whenever she felt it was growing too cold to bear.

Still, she couldn't help but think back to the gallant gentle soul that had picked her up in his arms and embraced her all while bidding her an emotional adieu. The man who had saved her son's life and then spent what had to have been some of his last moments glancing back longingly and lovingly into her eyes, knowing the time they had left was fleeting.

Everything has it's time, everything dies, but perhaps what was true for everyone else can be just as true for a time lord too...sometimes we die too soon.

Finally, she collected enough courage to ask The Doctor what she needed answering. If she was to continue to wait for her wounded soldier back home, she needed to know if he still carried any scars she could tend to.

"Did it hurt?" she asked.

"The energy blasts from the Shansheeth gave my insides a bit of a kicking, but I assure you Sarah Jane, it takes a more ferocious feathery fiend to rattle my cage"

"I meant the regeneration. The last body you had, was he OK in the end?"

"You want the truth" The Doctor said sternly.

"I'm a journalist, it's in our blood to seek that out" Sarah said proudly.

"It always hurts" The Doctor replied.

Sarah noticed his hand was trembling, as if anxious nerves were taking hold of him, she knelled down beside him and took his hands into hers.

"The regeneration or something else?" she asked.

Jo too was curious as to what The Doctor meant, and was also drawing some conclusions of her own regarding how Sarah felt about her old friend.

"I can read the body language; always was good at that, you're more to him aren't you?"

"Yes, yes you could say that, maybe a little" Sarah said.

Jo's face beamed with elation.

"That's wonderful; oh Doctor I never figured you'd be the type to settle for anyone"

"I've had some close calls in my day Jo, just prior to Sarah I almost came to cherish one other person, she was with me a long time, four years total, and then she moved on, as we all do in life, there are days where we must learn to stop waiting for the opportunity and to cease it when we can"

Jo was mesmerised by how open The Doctor was, she found herself lost for words. Sarah quickly picked up the slack for her.

"That's why you were always so eager to show off the wonders of the universe with me, eager to take me to places like Florana barely a few months into knowing me, you'd learned not to take the chance for more as lightly as you did with Jo"

"That's why it always hurts Sarah, and you're right, it's not the regeneration, it's the fact I can't stand still enough to appreciate the mainstays in my life when I can, the fixtures. I didn't want to let my last life slip away without leaving an indelible mark on those that had meant so much to me. If I couldn't stand still, then the memory of what my last self had done for my friends would. Saving your son, allowing that deed to be associated with that incarnation forever, was both a selfish and selfless deed on my part. A cry to be noticed, a desire to stand still in the memory. The most priceless of all memories, yours. I always feared if you knew the truth you'd hate me for it, this was the risk in my reward"

Sarah leaned over and surprised him with a gentle and impactful kiss on the lips.

As she disengaged, she looked into the Doctor's eyes lovingly and reassured him.

"Nothing stands still Doctor, and if we all did, we wouldn't learn how to move forward, to cope, to grieve, to love and to lose, and to then rediscover and rekindle that love. You need to look forward as well as back, because only by doing both can you be a complete person"

The Doctor gave Sarah an assuring smile; he looked up at Jo, who also gave him a proud and touched look.

"It really is you, isn't it?" Jo said.

"It's me, it took a little preparation, but the new me is just as well baked as you are Ms. Grant, or Mrs. Jones, whichever you prefer"

There were many things left to tell Sarah, his encounters with River Song and what she meant for his future, how travelling with a married couple aboard the TARDIS had been mentally preparing him for the days where he would finally settle into domestic delight with his favourite reporter, the threat of the Silence and whether or not they would come for him and his extended family.

He was running towards so many things, and yet when the opportunity arose to discuss them, he would always shy away from them.

Even in peaceful moments like this, he could not keep quite as still as he'd liked. He had learned very little.

But for now, in this moment, on this planet, left to his own devices, he was eager to move him and the two vital women in his life forward to their next destination, back to something that could all handle with bravery and conviction.

And then it hit him, Sarah's words hadn't quite convinced him, but the nature of who they all were sufficed.

They were a team.

And when faced with danger, a TARDIS team never stands still.


End file.
